Super painting

The painting itself is great but as you run your curser (mouse) over the people it tells you who they are BUT click on a person and you get their life history This is fascinating. CLICK HERE

A friend tells the blond, "Christmas is on a Friday this year." 

The blond says, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

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Two blonds find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asks, "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says, "We'll lie and say we only found two."

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A woman phones her blond neighbor and says, "Close your curtains the next time you and your husband are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blond replies, "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

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A blond is in the bathroom and her husband shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?"

She answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

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A blond goes to the vet with her goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".

The blond says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

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A blond spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope, "DO NOT BEND."

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

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A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

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A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"It should be around your neck," says the guard.

"I know," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

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An Italian tourist asks a blond, "Why do American scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the blonde replies, "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

*PARAPROSDOKIANS:

(Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a  fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.*
*
And mine is.........
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.*

What are the longer and shorter hours of fasting around the world 

 

Argentina 9 hours and 30 minutes, perhaps shortest in the world because it is located

In the southern point of the continent of South America _______________________________________Australia only 10 hours because it is located south of the Earth _______________________________________South Africa 10 hours and 30 minutes ________________________________________Brazil 11 hours ___________________________________Kenya 12 hours _________________________________Mexico 13 hours and 20 minutes _________________________________Morocco 14 hours ________________________________China 14 hours _______________________________Greece 14 hours and 30 minutes _______________________________Japan 14 hours and 30 minutes _______________________________USA
15h: ____________________________France 16 hours ____________________________Saudi Arabia 16 hours _____________________________England, 16 hours and 30 minutes _____________________________Egypt 16 hours and 30 minutes ___________________________Germany 16 hours and 30 minutes __________________________Canada 18 hours ______________________Netherlands 18 hours and 30 minutes ____________________________Iceland 20 hours and 20 minutes ______________________________Denmark's longest 21-hour fasting hours